As your baby grows, you may encounter challenges in establishing a consistent sleep routine. Sleep training techniques are valuable tools that can help your little one develop self-soothing skills and learn to sleep more independently.
In this blog, we will explore popular sleep training methods, including the Ferber Method, the Weissbluth Method, the Pick-Up Put Down Method, and others, while also guiding you on finding the best approach for your baby's unique needs.
Before selecting a suitable method for your little one, there are a couple of things to consider:
Firstly, the environment in which your child falls asleep should ideally be consistent with the environment they wake up in during lighter sleep cycles. While adults can transition through sleep cycles seamlessly, babies and young children haven't yet mastered this skill. If they fall asleep in your arms but wake up to find themselves alone, it can lead to panic and further disturbances in their sleep. They may struggle to settle back to sleep until they receive the same soothing as before.
Secondly, ensure that you are comfortable with whichever settling method you choose. There are no strict rights or wrongs; the method must work for both you and your baby.
Contrary to common misconceptions, leaving your baby to cry for a short period does not cause them undue stress or harm their relationship with their parent. In fact, overtired babies often experience higher levels of cortisol (the stress hormone) than those undergoing sleep training.
Consider your baby's age and temperament, including the effect of your presence on their ability to calm and settle to sleep.
The Ferber Method/Spaced Soothing:
Developed by Dr. Richard Ferber, the Ferber Method is a progressive sleep training technique that involves helping your baby learn to self-soothe and fall asleep independently. It typically involves leaving your baby in their cot to settle for a short period, returning at progressively longer intervals to provide comfort without picking them up. The goal is to increase the time between checks until your baby gradually learns to fall asleep independently.
Begin by allowing them 3 minutes to settle, if the crying continues increase the
next increment by 2 minutes. I would suggest leaving a young baby for no longer than 20 minutes, or whatever length of time you are comfortable with (e.g. 7 minutes).
While the Ferber Method has proven successful for many families, it may not be suitable for all babies. It requires consistency and can be emotionally challenging for parents. It's essential to approach the Ferber Method with sensitivity, ensuring that your baby feels secure and supported throughout the process.
The Pick Up, Put Down Method:
The Pick Up, Put Down Method, popularised by Tracy Hogg, involves picking up your baby when they become upset and putting them back down in the cot once they have calmed down but are still awake. This technique is designed to teach your baby to self-soothe gradually.
By providing physical comfort and reassurance, your baby learns to associate their cot with feelings of security and comfort. Over time, they can learn to fall asleep independently without needing to be held or rocked to sleep.
The Shush-Pat Method:
The Shush Pat Method is a gentle and comforting sleep training technique aimed at helping babies learn to self-soothe and settle themselves to sleep. In this method, parents or caregivers create a soothing environment for the baby by shushing them softly while gently patting their back or bottom. The rhythmic sound and gentle touch simulate the comfort of being held and reassured. As the baby becomes drowsy, the patting can gradually be reduced until they are fully asleep.
The Shush Pat Method encourages a strong sense of security and promotes a healthy sleep association between soothing sounds, gentle touch, and falling asleep independently. This method is well-suited for parents seeking a more hands-on approach to sleep training while maintaining a supportive and nurturing atmosphere for their baby.
Follow the link below for a video tutorial on how to successfully use this method:
The Weissbluth Method:
Based on the idea of "extinction," this method involves letting the toddler cry without intervening, allowing them to learn to self-soothe.
Gradual Withdrawal Method:
The gradual withdrawal technique involves gradually reducing your involvement in your child’s sleep routine until they can fall asleep on their own. The idea is to slowly and gently teach your child to self-soothe and fall asleep without relying on being held or rocked to sleep.
Nights 1 - 3. Once your child is ready to get into bed, sit in a chair or on the floor next to your child's bed, do not get into bed with them or lay your head on their pillow (try not to pat or stroke them constantly as this will form a new negative sleep association). Your child will almost certainly try and engage with you, so try closing your eyes, which conveys the sleepy message and stops you from getting drawn into conversation. Stay there until they fall asleep.
Nights 4-6. Tell your child what a good job they are doing of sleeping, what a good night night boy/girl they have been, and that you are very proud of them. Once they are ready to get into bed, you give them a big wonderful hug, and then move the chair to the door inside their room. Reassure them that you will be able to see them and they will be able to see you. Promise them that you will stay in the room until they fall asleep, but once the lights go out there will be no more talking. If the child gets up and needs some help calming down, go to the bed and hug them, reminding them that you aren’t going to leave them, and you will stay until they have fallen asleep. Return to your chair or sitting space. If they get out of bed and come back to you, return them to bed, don’t talk, reason, explain, or get frustrated, just put them back in bed. Eventually, they will get tired and stay in bed, but if they won’t stop getting out of their bed, stand up and explain very clearly that if they keep getting up, you will have to leave - “Stay in bed and lie quietly, otherwise I am going to have to leave your room.”
Nights 7-9. Continue the praise and positive reinforcement. Sit in the hallway for these nights, you can continue to make ‘sh-sh-sh’ sounds to remind them you are there. If they get out of bed, tell them that if they get back into bed on their own you will come and tuck them in. If this happens repeatedly, you need to limit the number of tuck-ins. If it continues to happen try leaving the room, closing the door, and counting to 10.
Nights 10-12. You will now be sitting in the hallway, out of their view, leaving their door open a little but telling them you are nearby and every so often using your voice to reassure them of your presence.
Night 13. Most children will start falling asleep and staying asleep by the end of the 12 days, however, if yours is still unsettled, tell them you will be checking on them in 5-minute intervals until they fall asleep. When you check on them just go as far as the doorway, don't go into the room.
Pop Backs Technique:
By providing your child with a sense of security and familiarity through regular check-ins, you can help them feel safe and secure as they learn to fall asleep on their own. The idea is to sit a while with your child, as they are getting ready to fall asleep, then you 'pop out' of the room for a VERY short time, just 30 seconds max. Then return and continue to sit as they fall asleep. As you gradually increase the time you are out of the room, you are allowing your toddler to fall asleep independently....while knowing you aren't far away.
Each time you 'pop out', say something simple like 'Mum has to pop out for a drink of water, I'll be back in a sec'. Pop-out quickly then return. You want to gradually increase the time you pop out until you are giving your toddler several minutes of opportunity to fall asleep by themselves. You may need also to say something like 'Please stay in bed while I pop out. If you get out, I may not be able to keep sitting with you.’ Then provide lots of positive reinforcement for staying in bed e.g. 'Thanks for staying in bed while I popped out, what a good boy you are for settling down like that'.
It is important to go back into your child’s room each time even when you think they may be asleep.
Finding the Best Approach for Your Baby:
When choosing a sleep training method, it's essential to consider your baby's unique temperament, developmental stage, and individual needs. What works for one baby may not work for another, and it's crucial to be flexible and responsive to your baby's cues and comfort level.
Before embarking on any sleep training journey, ensure that your baby is in good health and not experiencing any underlying medical issues that may be affecting their sleep. If you would like to discuss your chosen method, please drop me a message at laura@sleepteacher.co.uk or book an obligation-free 15-minute discovery call.
Remember, sleep training is a gradual process, and it's normal for there to be ups and downs along the way. Be patient, consistent, and responsive to your baby's needs, and don't hesitate to make adjustments to the approach if necessary.
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